THE LATEX GLOVE

It's July and for me that means my annual physical. Today was the day. This year I broke two of my physical rules: I had an afternoon appointment and I didn't strip nearly naked when they did the weigh in. Let me explain.

I typically prefer a morning physical, first thing if possible. My reasoning is that the Doctor should be reasonably alert first thing, thus no mis-diagnosis. The doctor has not seen other patience recently, so no mixing me up with someone else. I have eaten little if anything, had only a small amount of coffee and I can dress in shorts, flip flops and a light cotton shirt. This leads into my second rule broken.

I typically hate to get weighed. It makes no sense to have to step on the scale. And they have you do this ALL the time. I went in once just to pick up a item and the nurse had me step on the scale. I am sure they do this not for health reasons, but for personal enjoyment. One time, as the nurse wrote my weight in my chart and she verbalized it (supposedly so I knew what it was) I heard a voice from the reception station say, "who had over 200?"

This is why I like to go to my physical as scantily and discreetly dressed as I can. Having an afternoon appointment waylayed that strategy. Fortunately it was casual Friday, so I could be a bit less dressed up. But I did have bluejeans on (denim is very heavy), shoes that weigh quite a bit, my watch (1lb) and money in my pocket which I am sure was 3-5 lbs in money clip wieght alone. I thought it was a doctor's office so seeing people in their underwear could not be all that odd, but I resisted the urge to shed any un-necessary weight.

I boldly stepped on the scale. And to my delight the lower slider never had to get close to the "200" number. I was ecstatic. I asked, "How does it compare to last year?" The nurse informed me she would have to check. Another indication they do this primarily for fun rather than fitness. But I pushed the envelop and would not rest until she gave me the comparison. 16lbs less than last year!

The physical went great! The stuff that was suppose to be lower was. The stuff that was suppose to be higher (e.g. good cholesterol) was. The doctor used adjectives such as: Fantastic. Great. Wonderful. He was very delighted at the results. I still had to endure the "latex glove," but all things have their challenges.

I have felt I am in the best shape of my life. This physical was a tangible evidence of this. So what did I do? First, I called Joni and bragged. Second, I had a brownie with ice cream, chocolate syrup and whipped cream. Come on, nobody likes to be good all the time. Not to mention it is twelve months until my next trip to the doctor.